Spurious News: West Coast governors declare Wednesday "No Pranks Day"!

OLYMPIA, WASH (Spurious News Network) -- April 1 is widely celebrated as "April Fools Day." No one's quite certain how the tradition started, but harmless pranks have long been the order of the day.

In the states of Washington, Oregon, California, Alaska and Hawaii, things are different this year.

"The Democratic governors of our five most western states view with alarm the actions of our president and his staff," said Washington governor Bob Ferguson, a Democrat. "It's like pranks are not funny anymore because of the bad ones President Trump is pulling on a daily basis."

Oregon's governor Tina Kotek, also a Democrat, said, "Trump isn't pranking anyone. His disasters are done in all seriousness."

California governor Gavin Newsom, a Democrat, said, "I troll our president all the time. Every time I do, he gets worse. On the 27th of February I posted an AI-created picture of him trying to cut a hole in the fence at a sheep ranch, and the next day he bombed Iran. It never stops with him."

Dr. Josh Green, a Democrat serving as governor of Hawaii, said, "The Hawaiian people call Trump Ino Loa. That's not a compliment. It means 'horrible' in the Hawaiian language. We're terrified of him. Hawaii is more dependent on interstate commerce by sea than any other state because we can't grow enough food here to feed our people, and we don't know if or when Trump will cut us off and leave us to starve."

Mike Dunleavy, Alaska's governor and the only Republican in the group, said, "Alaska is nearly as dependent on ocean commerce as Hawaii is. We raise cattle and poultry plus there's an amazing fishery industry, but we're very dependent on the Lower 48 for everything else - and Trump's actions directly threaten us. There is a road connecting Washington State to Alaska, the Alaska Highway, but it's over 2000 miles from the Peace Arch on the US-Canadian border to the Fairbanks area in Alaska. If you shipped freight by truck over this road it would easily be twice as expensive as using a ship, and prices are already too high here."

"So," said Governor Kotek, "the five of us got together and decided to ask our residents to not play pranks on each other on April Fool's Day. Right now, they're nothing but hurtful. We're celebrating No Pranks Day as a way of showing the world we aren't going to stoop to Trump's level."