Domestic abuse vs stranger danger -- who has the right to defend themself?

I just read a ProPublica article about women in prison because the domestic abuse they suffered drove them to commit crimes, including murdering their abuser. https://apple.news/AV5r1rngmRie4Y-6caXbbzg

I am struck by how men with guns may defend themselves in the US, while women are expected to endure violence and abuse indefinitely.

On the one hand,
*There are Stand Your Ground laws in 38 states providing "that there is no duty to retreat from an attacker in any place in which one is lawfully present”.
*People brag online about carrying a gun to protect themselves and often seem to criticize victims of stranger-crime for not being armed.
*If men get in a fight, and one punches and the other shoots, it is often “self-defense”, no charges filed.
*If a cop is afraid because someone ‘reaches for their waistband’ or ‘lunges at him’ or … or-or-or, no charges filed.
*If a man in Texas shoots his British daughter and says his gun went off when he was showing her his gun (after fighting about trump), he won’t be indicted.
*If a stranger with a certain profile breaks into your house to rape or rob you, you can probably fire at will (unless he is a cop or an ICE agent) with little risk of jail.

But, if you are a woman who has called police multiple times on your stalker-ex-boyfriend or your drunk-or-jealous violent husband or-or-or, who lives in terror for the safety of self and or children, you apparently must figure out a way to capture your abuser’s attack on video within inches of your life, have some witnesses, or perhaps hire full-time armed professional security, while still paying the mortgage and providing 24x7 care for the kids. Otherwise, you might spend life in jail.

The long slow torture of fear for your life from the man who lives (or lived) under the same roof, is not taken seriously not considered a threat to your life that you have a right to defend against.

But an instantaneous perceived threat from a stranger on the street or on your front step? Or who you think is there to steal your stuff? That’s what Smith & Wesson is for. You have a right to defend yourself.