YEARS: NEW AND OTHERWISE

We are obsessed with time. We save time, make time, mark time, keep time, and wonder where the time goes. But our concept of the linear progression of time as something that absolutely, positively MUST be measured is a relatively recent phenomenon. We’ll save any discussion of the space-time continuum described in Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity for another time. There! See how it’s nearly impossible to say anything without referencing some aspect of time?
Anyway, our ancient ancestors paid little attention to the passage of time. There was nothing they could do about it, so they figured, hey, just go with the flow, dude. They were hunter-gatherers who noted the cyclical change of the seasons, and the corresponding migratory patterns of the game that sustained them, but beyond that, systematically marking the passage of time held little interest for them.
When the basic clan and family ties that typified nomadic cultures began to evolve into the more complex social structures required of a developing agrarian society, keeping track of time took on a new urgency; gotta get those crops planted soon enough to harvest when the days grew shorter. Then, of course, there were all those religious festivals, birthdays, anniversaries, and little Grobbie’s hollow log recital. For goodness’ sake, how’s a busy Cro-Magnon mom supposed to keep track of all this? What you need, little lady, is a CALENDAR!
No one knows when the first calendar came into use, but the Sun’s position in the sky coincided with the change of seasons, providing an observable solar year, as well as the obvious day and night. The phases of the Moon followed a 28-day cycle that marked out a reliable month. Unfortunately, the movements of these two heavenly bodies are not synchronous, making the development of an accurate calendar a frustrating exercise, indeed. We still haven’t gotten it right, though it’s been said that the Mayans had it figured out. How they might have managed it without the concept of zero is a discussion for another day. Whatever. Our modern Grorian calendar has to be fudged with leap years, except when a leap year falls in a year with two zeroes, and… well, you get the idea. Since 1972, we’ve added a leap second since old Mother Earth wobble on her axis a little bit. Back when the Babylonians were the trendsetters in the Tigris and Euphrates Valley, they had to toss in an extra month now and then.
According to the Hebrew lunar calendar, this is the year 5785. Their 12-month cycle alternates months of 29 and 30 days. Over the course of 19 years, an embolism 29-day month, called a Veadar, is added seven times. So that’s what keeps all those Talmudic scholars out of the bingo parlors: Figuring out when to add a Veadar.
The Islamic calendar has a year of only 354 days – who did the math for that one? – and it skates backward through the seasons until it comes full circle after 321/2 years. This calendar periodically needs an extra day as well.
The Chinese calendar is based on the lunar cycle, and designates years in cycles of 60. Within that cycle is a cycle of 12 years named after animals, always in the same order: Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Boar. 2026 its still the Year of the Snake, until February 17th when it’ll become the Year of the Horse until February 7th of 2027. In true Chinese fashion, there are complex cycles within cycles that are fascinating, but too complicated to go into here. The year in which you were born will always be the year in which you turn 60. This cycle was though to be the natural lifespan of a person back when Emperor HUangdi is said to have invented the Chinese calendar.
After consulting the astronomer Sosigenes, Julius Caesar introduced the Julian calendar in 46 B.C. It served well for more than 1,500 years and closely resembled our calendar to day.However, it did not have any way of compensating for the discrepancies between the solar and lunar cycles, so over the course of the centuries, the dates that marked the beginning of the seasons drifted to the point where, in 1580, the spring equinox was 10 days earlier on the calendar than it was in the sky. The heavens resisted all of Pope Gregory XIII’s efforts to change them, so it was decided to change the calendar. The adjustment was made in October of 1582, and the Pope decreed that every year that was divisible by 400 would have an extra day in February, except, of course, for that double-zero thing. Now the discrepancy was down to about 26 seconds. Cool. Now the only problem is that every hundred years or so, we lose half a second because the solar year is gradually growing shorter. You might reasonably inquire, “Whut the hail you talkin’ bout, boy?” Well, because the Sun’s gravity is inexorably drawing the Earth closer, and eventually, we will all be burned to a crisp. “WHAT???” Don’t worry, you wont be here for the final dénouement; we’ll blow ourselves to smithereens long before that. “WHAT???” Or maybe we’ll all perish in a cataclysmic tsunami brought on by climate change. “WHAT???” Or… All right, all right! Jeez! Well, it could happen.
Anyway, most of Christendom adopted the new Gregorian calendar pretty quickly. Well, everyone except Great Britain and its far-flung empire. Remember that old saying, “The Sun never sets on the British Empire?” Neither did common sense, apparently. Seems Henry VIII got his ample pantaloons in a bunch when Pope Clement VII refused to annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragorn just because she couldn’t give him a son. And we know what ol’ Hank did with wayward wives when he got in a snit. Not a good day to be the queen. Bottom line: Pronouncements from the Vatican were not greeted with joyous hosannas by those of the English persuasion for quite a while. Not until 1753, in fact.
So, we got all these calendars going at once, and not one of ‘em is dead nuts accurate even now; they’re still messin' with ‘em. One proposed revision is called the 13-Month Calendar. Each month and each year would begin on the same day the week, and each month would be exactly four weeks long. The extra month, Sol, would fall between June and July and there would be a Year Day at the end of each year that would belong to no week or month. There would still be a Leap Year Day every four years, between June 28th and July 1st. Do we get that day off with pay? Note to whomever dreamed this one up: Don’t quit your day job.
But all these calendars have one thing in common: They all have a New Year’s Day, and that means… they all have a NEW YEAR’S EVE! Ah, ah, ah, don’t pop the champagne just yet. New Year’s Day has jumped around the calendar quite a bit, too. The Chinese calendar is governed by the phases of the Moon, and even devout Muslims are never quite sure when the Islamic calendar’s New Yer might fall. The Hebrew New Year, Rosh Hashanah, is celebrated in early autumn. Festivities commence when the Rabbi lets loose a blast from the shofar. Betcha Winton Marsalis could really rip it up on a ram’s horn.
The Romans moved New Year’s Day from March to January. During the Middle Ages it was shifted back to March 25th, on Annunciation Day. The good times started on the 21st, and wound up on April 1st. Then the adoption of the Gregorian calendar kicked it back to January 1st again. Some folks resisted the change, preferring the old April 1st date. Their more progressive neighbors teased them, calling them “April Fools”. The dour Pilgrims in the New World disdained the switch because of the pagan beliefs associated with the Roman God, Janus, for whom the month is named. Too bad; a party just wasn’t the same without that crew to liven things up.
It was also the Romans who originated the idea of New Year’s resolutions. We’ve all made heartfelt promises to mend our wicked, wicked ways. Talking to Ralph on the porcelain telephone will do that to you. “Ralph! You there, Ralph? Oh, God, Ralph!” Sometimes we even stick to those resolutions for a few weeks.
I’m not a religious fellow, but the resolution that still gets my vote as the best one ever written was by the Methodist theologian, John Wesley. It goes like this:

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, for all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”

And have a Happy New Year!

– An article I wrote a few years back for a local weekly paper. Thought y'all might enjoy it. A few dates have been adjusted to be current.