Bug-eyed shitweasel Kash Patel, nature’s answer to the question What if a person with the approximate IQ of a cucumber served in government?, may be getting in a spot of trouble for abusing the perks available to him as FBI director. Again.

Remember, it was not long ago that Patel was busted taking a private government plane to Pennsylvania so he could watch his girlfriend, Alexis Wilkins, sing at some Z-list wrestling event. Then he flew her home to Nashville. This was while the government was shut down, so there was a chance none of the people involved in getting the plane where it was going was paid for their work. This dude’s sense of entitlement makes Edward VI look like an orphaned street urchin in a Victorian novel.

Now the Website Formerly Known as MSNBC reports that Patel has taken the biggest step a man can take when he finds a woman he truly loves: he has assigned Wilkins an FBI security detail made up of a SWAT team from the Bureau’s Nashville office.

What did you do for your girlfriend this week? Oh, you took her to Sweet Frog? That’s cute.

We’d be mad at Patel for making other single guys look bad, but then we remembered that no matter what he ever accomplishes, he’s still Kash Patel.

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