She writes that the first few times Kennedy said he loved her, she did not say it back. Yet she knew she felt the same. “I love him, I thought. Oh no. I love him so much.” They spoke often and were intimate enough for her to see him flossing his teeth, his dopp kit overflowing with prescriptions.

She writes that despite being “sober” for decades, Kennedy told her that he still uses psychedelics, and even smoked dimethyltryptamine, or DMT, a powerful drug on which people are known to have what feel like near-death experiences. She told him she “liked uppers. I told him that I took Adderall.”