Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled 'Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles'

WASHINGTON—Dismissing the swashbuckling sci-fi romp as “a total hoax” amid growing scrutiny over his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, President Donald Trump made remarks Tuesday denying that he had written a 36-volume comic titled Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles.

Obtained last month by the House committee investigating the late financier and child sex trafficker, the Time Pedophiles saga depicts Trump and Epstein journeying through various historical eras aboard Epstein’s Chronolita Express time machine, taking on Edo-period samurai, ancient Roman legionaries, and Wild West gunslingers in their never-ending quest for underage sexual partners.

Though Trump was prominently credited as writer and illustrator on every cover, in addition to appearing as a doodled version of himself in several “Molester’s Soap Box” columns, where he would frequently rant about the unfair treatment of sexual predators, the president has vigorously disputed the series’ authenticity.

“Epstein was no friend of mine, and I never drew us becoming knights and competing at a joust for the virginity of a 13-year-old Eleanor of Aquitaine,” Trump said when asked about Time Pedophiles by a reporter, suggesting that someone else could have written, inked, and lettered the series before falsely signing his name. “Anyone who knows me knows I wouldn’t draw myself in a covered wagon picking up minors on the Oregon Trail, nor would I write a story arc about going back into prehistory, long before humans invented the age of consent, to hit on Cro-Magnon girls. Sorry to disappoint, but the fact is, I don’t draw cavemen.”

https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/