Wow! The best hospital experience a person could have!

I was nearly dead from some horrible disease and I paid a bundle for Trump Vodka so was allowed to try out the new MedBed! Amazing! I went from dead to red with my support of Donald and being saved from death by the MedBed. It only took 5 minutes and both my hearing and 20/20 vision came back.

I have regular insurance, not government or Medicare so my payments for the first year are $0. The manufacturer, named XYZZY (of "I see no cave here" fame) does show in small print that the side effects include dementia, worms in brains, sudden disappearance and multiple fatal events but I've had none of these. But I did have three of the minor ones listed, loss of sense of smell, nausea and eyeballs falling out but who cares? Those eyeballs rolling around can see perfectly and the loss of smell means the vomiting doesn't bother me as much as it bothers other people.