Spurious News: Trump defends late sheriff Pusser against charges he murdered his wife

PALM BEACH, FLA (Spurious News Network) -- Buford Pusser was sheriff of McNairy County, Tenn., from 1964 to 1970. He became famous for his one-man war on illegal liquor, prostitution and gambling, and was featured in several "Walking Tall" movies. He died in a one-car accident in 1974. In 2025, the case into the 1967 death of his wife Pauline was reopened; a grand jury found that if Pusser was alive he'd be indicted for her murder.

General Secretary Donald Trump was outraged by this finding. He sent this message to his Truth Social subscribers: "The grand jury that insulted the Great Sheriff Buford Pusser by calling him a murderer should all be arrested for treason and deported. Everyone knows what a good sheriff Buford Pusser was. He fought a one-man war on kidnapping, speeding, reckless driving and knocking down mailboxes. I am going to give Sheriff Pusser a posthumous Presidential Medal of Freedom to thank him for his good work."

The first reply to this post, before Trump deleted it twenty seconds later, was devastating: "You're talking about Buford T. Justice, the sheriff played by Jackie Gleason in the Smokey and the Bandit movies. Like you've even seen a Burt Reynolds movie. Release the fuckin' Epstein Files already and RESIGN!"