WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans support renaming the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts after the writer E. Jean Carroll, according to a poll released on Wednesday.

Conversely, poll respondents opposed naming the venue after First Lady Melania Trump, strongly agreeing with the statement, “An arts center should not be named after someone who finds blood-red Christmas trees aesthetically pleasing.”

At the White House, press secretary Karoline Leavitt defended the decision to rename the Kennedy Center after Mrs. Trump, stating, “Since President Trump took it over, the Kennedy Center has been just like the First Lady: renovated and vacant.”