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Stargazer99

(3,237 posts)
Fri Jul 18, 2025, 11:42 AM Friday

Why does the culture tolerate abusive males?

If there was a national campaign to teach women the signs of abusive males in order to avoid a relationship to that type of male our society would be a lot less sicker. Is it because this is a male dominated society and such a campaign would reduce many marriages?
While shopping at a store I heard a man excessively berating a young boy of about 5yrs old about something the boy did. This was not correcting the child it was hate directed to the boy and not just correction for something the boy did. Any amount of years with this adult male will damage the boy's ability to function in a healthy manner to others. I did not see the mother around and probably the boy was not his child and that is why the excessive and destructive manner he was treated. Just how stupid can a society get

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Ocelot II

(126,066 posts)
1. Because it's the abusive males who are in power.
Fri Jul 18, 2025, 11:49 AM
Friday

And they get their power by being abusive - not necessarily physically, but almost always mentally. Trump is an abusive male. He might not have ever beaten his wives but I'm sure he was and is psychologically controlling. And, of course, he did rape E. Jean Carroll and sexually molested many others. The fact that he was elected despite voters knowing what he is tells us a lot about the sick condition of our society.

Ping Tung

(3,046 posts)
2. A cruel God makes a cruel man. Thomas Paine
Fri Jul 18, 2025, 11:56 AM
Friday

Look to the roots of our society. Men invented a God in their own male image and gave it, and themselves, infinite power to rule.

RoeVWade

(563 posts)
3. While I would like to believe bad cultural behavior has some permanent fix, I think it's just a continual battle we
Fri Jul 18, 2025, 12:02 PM
Friday

will have to keep pursuing. .Just like you'd hope the world would be crime free. You just keep at and try to make things better.

leftstreet

(36,867 posts)
4. You lost me at "teach women"
Fri Jul 18, 2025, 12:03 PM
Friday

It's a little insulting

How about teach men to stop seducing and women and then turning on them

Stargazer99

(3,237 posts)
12. Teach not in the sense that women are not smart and need instruction but in the sense of becoming aware of patterns that
Fri Jul 18, 2025, 04:00 PM
Friday

show women that some men might be dangerous or hurtful.

usonian

(19,164 posts)
8. It's weak men projecting their weakness onto others.
Fri Jul 18, 2025, 12:26 PM
Friday

If they had any fiber of being, it would show in compassion, generosity and kindness.

That’s how I brought up my child and I am infinitely happy with the result.

snot

(11,207 posts)
9. Broadly speaking, there is an imbalance of power
Fri Jul 18, 2025, 12:41 PM
Friday

between the average physical size and strength of men vs. the average physical size and strength of women, especially during pregnancy and early child-rearing.

Humanity's been struggling to figure out how best to deal with these factors since history began if not earlier.

Societies that relegate women to the provision of sexual pleasure, child-bearing, and menial chores deprive themselves of the intellectual and other capacities of 51% of their populations.

Societies that allow women to compete in all possible spheres without compensating adequately for the contributions made by motherhood risk declining rates of childbirth. We see that effect coming into play now.

Also, to the extent that in previous eras, many societies encouraged men to base their self-esteem on "success" metrics that often required self-sacrificing mates or mothers in the background, in societies that allow women to compete in all possible spheres, ca. half the male population may be more likely to suffer losses in self-esteem, etc. due to the increased competition and diminished self-sacrifice from women, unless such societies also develop other adaptations, which might include new "success" metrics for men.

Oneironaut

(6,068 posts)
10. Patriarchy. This sort of messaging is everywhere.
Fri Jul 18, 2025, 12:44 PM
Friday

Everything in our culture is about placating men. Women are conditioned from a very young age with toxic bullshit to excuse poor male behavior towards them and blame themselves for it.

Men are taught to have only one emotion: anger. They’re taught that might is right, being “gay” is the worst thing ever, and, to never show feelings or embrace anything “feminine.” The way to teach a boy to “be a man” is to beat it into them - verbally and with violence.

It’s a sickness. Furthermore, if you point this out, many people will get angry at you for pointing out how fucked up our society’s idea of masculinity is.

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